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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his actions, rendering him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from others. He began to think he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits on the internet – and was later evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he doubts he would have taken the label if he hadn’t independently formed that realization by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they experience feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what is meant by the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people conceal it, because of so much stigma around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Though up to 75% of people diagnosed with the condition are males, research suggests this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” says a young adult who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this reaction – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures in her youth. “I’ve been learning continuously what is suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were insulting me in my early years.”

Origins of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be connected with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, struggles with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, he was directed to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for psychological counseling on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number